From My Hart

Dizzy

2009-01-23T17:54:00.002-08:00

Emotional tailspin
never ending whirlwind
that one chases
yet for another
my heart it races

confusion builds un-yielding
my joy is concealing
the angry reaction
to the boy's distraction

and yet I wait each day
for that man to say
all the things from that boy's heart and mind

the one he loves me
and I run
hoping only to find
this other man
the one I love
and yet he does not see
that in his slow deliberate gaze
he already has me

Where the story starts

2008-03-10T14:36:00.003-07:00

what is this I see
another peice of me
as I walk the trail
I find my peices there
peices that were lost
stolen ripped and goen
peices that were never there
but by grace
and love
are won
peices that others hold
peices that fit true
never once expecting
a peice to be you
you fit
so well
right here
in place
that I am out of words
you fit
so well
right here
it seems
i've another lesson to learn
He guides my life
my Lord
my love
He guides you and me
it seems
for now
He's guiding us
to something yet unseen
walk with me
a while my dear
before we have to part
and maybe
just maybe here
is where the story starts

Awakening

2008-03-10T14:18:00.002-07:00

flight
without sight
is terrbliy frightening
height
on this night
with you death defying
life
anew
breathed into my soul
gift
of you
making me whole
day
each one
with out you seems false
love
I've found
forsaking all else

Love

2008-01-11T17:44:00.001-08:00

Right there all along
this love I have for you
we shared all the time
I never had a clue
someone caught a glimpse
a glimmer in my eye
they asked from whence it came
and you were my reply

there were no words involved
no story there to tell
they still know not of you
yet here my thoughts they dwell

I can not shake this knot
that's filling all of me
it's like I forgot
exactly how to breathe
yet there you are
and in it goes
the air it fills my lungs
still the distance far
and no one knows
that in silence my heart is hung.

My New Song: Despite it All

2007-10-15T14:45:00.000-07:00

This is my new song, I wrote it amidst some inner turmoil. It's a representation of a dialogue between Jesus and myself and it's so full of imapct that I thought I would share it with you.

What would you do
If I told you
I loved you anyway

what you you think
if I still cared

what would you say
if I just
dropped everything
and left everyone with out a care

what would you do
if told you
I loved you anyway

and what would you think
if I was still there

what would you say
if I just packed up everything
and got the heck outta here

and she says:
despite it all I feel your love surround me
I can't run away
despite it all you presence envelopes me
I can't look away
despite it all you voice it calls to me
there's nothing left to say
no not today

what would you do
if I told you everything
would you run away

what if I told you
I lied about everything
would you still want me

and he says:
despite it all I still love you, don't run away
despite it all I see your beauty and I will always stay
despite it all I see you love me, don't go away
despite it all you're precious to me I want you more today
than any other day

what would you do
if I told you everything
would you run away

what would you say
if I just dropped everything
packed up and ran away

and he says:
despite it all I still love you you don't have to run away
despite it all I see your beauty and I will always stay
despite it all I see you Love me, don't go away
despite it all you're precious to me I want you more today
than any other day

what would you say
if I lied about everything
would you always stay?

Why

2007-10-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

My best and worst
comes out in you
this reaction
is nothing new
the love and hate
have as of late
left my heart
in a state of rage
it's ragged and tattered
on the floor
always searching for something more
it delights in nothing nice
always it's own sacrifice
living only yet to die
and yet finds itself asking why
why to love
and why to lose
why to hate
and why to choose
why to learn
and why to leave
why to give
and why recieve
if all is ripped
at a passing glance
will it ever learn to dance?

Is this the way?

2007-10-12T10:32:00.000-07:00

sand dwindles
through the hourglass
completely content
watching the growing grass
the clock is lending
a sense of place
a heart is mending
in time and space
centrality envelopes all
listen to the song birds call
a girlish giggle
a boyish grin
is this the way that love begins?

I know not where
this will go
I shouldn't care
that you don't know
my mouth it opens
sink or swim
is this the way that love begins?

My every thought
a lengthy pause
an unsigned contract
a hidden clause
of my reaction
to your light
this is where
my soul takes flight
what if I lose
But Oh....to win!
is this the way that love begins?

Metamorphasis

2007-10-12T10:24:00.000-07:00

Anarchy is overtaking
the caverns of a heart
a hierarchy is replaced
by a chaotic work of art

reality bends and breaks
emotions give way
gingerly the artist molds
his work another way

changes it from red to blue
from gentle to concrete
from old and grey to very new
shiny and complete

portrays a greater depth
of something yet unseen
the dark and yet blinding light
of change inside of me

change from gone
to founded sanity
change to include
a place in humanity

the crafter is skillful
and I bend in tune
I'll try not to be willful
for it could be my ruin

Enraptured

2007-10-10T12:43:00.000-07:00

Fresh gleam of dawn
fills a hardened heart
I feel the wall crumble
as you healing starts
your grace is all I need
your mercy is complete
your love is everlasting
and your salvation oh so sweet
failures fade away
insecurities disappear
no more silence in the way
there's nothing left to fear
your kindness
it surrounds me
as I fall to my knees
your compassion
it confounds my mind
encompassing all of me
what is there
left at all to do
but to surrender all
and give it all to you

Simplicity

2007-10-10T12:40:00.001-07:00

simplicity
is something to be marvelled
in its complexity
the splendor of the Lord
bound in everything
a celebration of creation
in the smallest twig
a victory of exquisite proportions
in the normalcy we sing
the merest gentle flower
completely enraptures me
how complicated
how careful
and yet
next to humanity
its exudes perfect docility
reflections of the grace and love
in all that was touched
by God's hands
and I stare
unable to fully comprehend
the ever expanding extent of it's
simplicity

Makeshift Miracles

2007-10-10T12:37:00.000-07:00

Makeshift miracles
a mother's heart unwinds
as her word unfolds
a daughter's left behind

Grace and mercy calls
a woman changes suit
her walls come crashing down
encased in His pursuit

A love so pure and kind
a soul it soon divides
as all she knew and loved
no longer it resides

The hurt it melts away
and peace it takes the place
all because the Saviour
offered love and grace

A Turn Unseen

2007-10-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

The river ever winding
takes a turn unseen
as the sun rises blindly
one single golden beam
the dew upon the grass
the flower by the stream
its surface made of glass
the mirror of a dream
the colours they collide
as the season turns to fall
the meadow opens wide
as winter starts to call
starting on this journey
not knowing what I'd find
but thoughts of you keep filing
my body soul and mind
your spirit's deeply embedding
your mark upon my heart
your world it is a canvass
a master piece of art
the story's never ending
each moment plays a part
all creation's banding
your will inside it's heart
your presence it surrounds me
as I wonder in a trance
the beauty of this world
in it's God reflecting dance
I know one thing's for certain
as I bow down at your feet
because you tore the curtain
you made my life complete

Out of Nowhere

2007-05-16T17:40:00.000-07:00

breathless I continue to read
the words effect even my skin
from the top of my head
to my deep inner core
I am astounded
your words play with my heart
they play a song lost long ago
how you found the tune I do not know
But I am willing to find out
I press on to the next line
searching for the draw back
the passing phrase
but its not there
you are completly sincere
and I can only find
that I love you back

At long last

2007-03-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

So things are going crazy
and my head is spun
but at long last
the uphill journey has begun
I know not how to get there
or when I will be done
but I'll keep one foot front the other
and keep on pressin on
your vision is before me
you hand upon my back
there's no way to be swayed
with you upon the track
I know I reach the top
one day I will be found
if I just keep each foot
right here upon the ground
with your faithful word to guide me
and your love my compass true
I have no other journey
no other one but you

Oh.....my steve

2006-11-15T21:00:00.000-08:00

you laugh so sinisterly
but that's just like you isnt it
you take the one thing from me that is still mine
the oldest friend I have left
and you turn him against me
against my God
angainst my Jesus
you make him hate me
you have him rip my heart out
and hold on to it
still pumping
while he laughs your laugh
if you think you've defeated me
you're wrong
if you think I am mad
angry
self pitying
you're even more wrong
you couldn't be farther from the truth
I love him more now
and I will strive even harder
to bring him safely home
to carry him to Jesus
to save him from the demon
you have him calling God
allah is NOT God
JESUS IS
the one
the only
the soveriegn
and one day
he will see
I hope he's on my side when he does

This Confusion

2006-11-08T20:27:00.000-08:00

its nothing new
your mere attention
sends my brain whirling
at a million miles an hour
to the point where
I can't tell which way is up
everything is so simple
when you pay no attention at all
life is boring
and predictable
and I get along fine
but now
everything reminds me of you
and it's getting harder to
turn you off
to block you out
the part where you take up
every thought
is coming back
I hope Jesus
saves me from this
I can't do it again
it's too much

Extreme mudwrestling

2006-11-08T07:35:00.000-08:00

I thought you were gone
but you came
at the last moment
just when I started to get over you
your head popped up
like a cloud
on a sunny day
a speck of mud
in my otherwise clean existence
but after all
the last while has taught me
about my life
both with and without you
it has taught me
that I very much like
the feel of mud!!!

What you really want to know

2006-11-07T08:58:00.000-08:00

I've been waiting for you
here all along
waiting to tell you
all that is inside my heart
to let you know
that I will sit beside you
in the rough and tough
that I will run beside you
in the race of life
that I will soar beside you
when times are the best
when you fly on angels wings
and with joy and contentment
I will walk with you
as far as you'll let me
till there are holes in my shoes
and my clothes are
but dust ridden drapes
grab my hand
I have so much to show you
I've been waiting for this
for so long
there's a path marked
for you and I alone
can you see it
it's waiting for us
no one has walked down it before
and no one will
unless you take my hand
right now
take a chance
you might like it more than you think

Shameless LOVE

2006-11-06T08:50:00.000-08:00

Mercy
unfailing
is the source of my love for you
it is because of Him
that I love you as I do
not because of you
or the things you do
soley what HE gave
is why I gave
and continue to give to you
one day I hope you
pass this love on to others
not because of me
but because of His
love through me
it is the greatest
love I've ever known
and I pray everyday
to share it with you

Babysitting

2006-11-02T07:53:00.000-08:00

Adventurer you might say
but I'd say adrenaline junkie
four wild animals
that some choose to call kids
me and my sidekick
24 hours
no parents
candy or
......
videos
now we must rely on our cunning
craftiness
to ensure that all is well
for the remainder
but I believe these
next ten hours will be
far worse than the
ones leading to bed time!!

TRAIN STATION

2006-10-27T16:39:00.000-07:00

the silence is deafening
as I step out on this platform
alone yet again
as you have left me
with out a word
that's when the silence began
when you snuffed the flame
on the candle of our friendship
everyone here seems to be leaving
on a different train than me
all going away with each other
pushing me aside
for a new
a better friend
one that is all shiny and polished
and fits the mold of perfection
one that is predictable
and will only do as is told
will only love on command
and only as much as given room to
I will never be that person
but why does no one stay on my train
will I forever be the only one heading this direction
will you return for the trip home
or am I embarking on this journey
alone.

fgjdagkrguaile

2006-10-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

Isn't this totally sweet. I mean I love green and I love what God can do...but look at it. This is amazing!

Insomnia

2006-10-23T10:51:00.000-07:00

so tired
this floor is so cold
but not as cold as you
how do you do it
draw me in with your warmth
only to slap me with cold rejection
not a bitter cold
but the kind that creeps in
first shorts breezes of cold air
then
when all seems normal
all be it a little chilly
there is silence
complete and utter silence
the kind of which only ice ages can out do
and it comes from you off all people

the colours in this room are faded
they too remind me of you
does everything have to
is it not enough for you to plague my thoughts
in happiness
must you consume them with sorrow also
hasnt this gone far enough already?

I'll grab a blanket
and shut my eyes
the softness reminds me of your voice
as I drift into a land filled with you

Indulgencies

2006-10-23T10:44:00.000-07:00

indulge me for a moment
just once
this time dont stop me
don't tell me I'm wrong
how will you know
if you never try
why are you so scared to be loved
you can be you know
I am living breathing proof
of that possibility
there you go again
thinking I want something

stop

listen

you are loved
that's all I wanted to say
all that I ever wanted you to know
I didn't mean to scare you off
and now I fear that I may have lost you
you got me
and now no one does
I hope it was worth it for you
I hope that you know what you're running from
how can you run so fast
blindly with your shoes untied
let me help you

The Un-named Hunter

2006-10-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

standing still
all the greenery around me
*crunch*
there's a rustling behind my
I can feel the thud of my heart
hear the rushing of my blood past my ears
as my pulse quickens
and the chase begins
I've been waiting fo rthis for sometime now
watching others get chased
it looked like so much fun
they forgot to tell me bout
the terror
the vulnerability that consumes
and I am scared out of my mind
bounding from place to place
hiding from you and running
yet stopping long enough for you to
catch up
looking back to see if you are still there
pursuing me
surmounting every obsticle
my foot is caught in your trap
will you catch me?

Friday

2006-10-20T10:18:00.000-07:00

Explosions of colour
each one the same
yet different
as they cascade down
this wall of indifference
I thought it would hurt more than this
but I feel almost nothing
as the light bursts forth
a change gives way
to a new found peace
one more than any I've had before
and I find myself wondering
is this colour a remnant of you
or a result of your swift departure from my life
I will not be bitter
like the darkness
that started this tragedy
I will not speak of it ever again
to anyone
all has been said that will ever be said
the colours are fading from
the room that was our friendship
it's sad really
I thought nothing could disturb them
yet life proved me wrong again
it splashed the thinnerof life
on the canvass of happiness
bitterness wil be replaced
by a hunger
a hunger to focus
on the colour
the colour that is brighter and more potent than before
as it splashes on this new page of my life
a new page
that i dare say
you might never see

Morning

2006-10-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

the scent of dew
is so refreshing
this new face on life
shimmers in the coming dawn of day
what a wonderful thing
to love
a pure love
that does not change with scorn
but remains even after a storm
one that destroys all that was
and all that will be
yet the love remains
as strong as ever before
yet completely different
now a selflessness exists
I finally understood what He meant
when He told me to love
not out of selfish gain
isn't His light glorious
isn't it a wonderous thing to behold
and to be able to reflect
a single beam of this light
into anothers life
it feels as though my heart might burst
and imagine
it is not even full yet

Wednesday

2006-10-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

Why does this happen
it used to be intentional
is it a subconcious thing now
an automatic reflex of destruction
somehow I manage to hurt
the one I don't want to
I used to do it on purpose
when I was afraid of feeling
but this time
I didn't see
I didn't notice
will you forgive me?
I can't bear the thought
the thought of you
not trusting me
will this be the final straw
will this forever block you from seeing
from seeing my love for you
the pain I feel when you are hurt
the utter turmoil in my soul
as I read your words
as I read that I hurt you
it was bad enough to hurt them
but I hurt you
and now my heart is in a million peices
will you pick them up?

Laundry

2006-10-01T12:55:00.000-07:00

so what
a stain
it will fade
just as the others
can you still see the first one?
It's been there for years
depending on the light you
can't see any of them at all
today you inspired me
you know
to get a new shirt.

The Man

2006-10-01T10:43:00.002-07:00

Did you stop to think
and wonder at the
nearly wonderous way that
in friends we can find
everlasting relationships that go beyond
love as the world sees it?

Just think for a minute
about how God orcestrates everyone we
meet and knows
everything we will ever
say to them

Could you imagine a love like that
lasting forever, through everything
and yet never expecting anything
reaching for holiness
kindness and so much more

Home sweet home

2006-10-01T10:29:00.000-07:00

I walked in today
and called but like
so many times before
you were nowhere to be found
I try so hard to find you
I search every room of this broken down empty house
but you're not here
where did you go?
I guess the house isn't completely empty
there is a strange picture of a girl I used to know
she looks so familiar
yet just can see where you ift in with all of this
this house still smells of you
your pillow is still warm
but I've been here for months
waiting for you to come home
and you never do
where did you go
and why couldn't I come with you?

Fall

2006-10-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

a leaf in the wind
people take for granted
that the leaf is there
that the wind behind it
is powering its every move
all the leaf can do is go
where the wind has blown it
up higher and higher
soaring through the sky
only to get plastered where a leaf shouldn't be
on a dark road somewhere
on a dirty old box
but every now and then
something magical happens
and the leaf gets blown by
someone who cares
someone who is still a romantic at heart
and they catch the beauty
pausing to drink it in
but not before they rescue
this tiny leaf
and take it home with them forever

Sick

2006-09-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

I know you are trying to help me out
but I stumble enough on my own
dont let my worry be mistaken
for ungratitude
it's just that I have been living with
this wound for fourteen years now
and I fear your intervention might only make it worse
now it is small and unmoving
I feel everyday but the pain is dull
but if you treat the source
and anger it
I fear I willbe in constant pain for the rest of my life
you see the only cure for this illness
is the one who gave it to me

Since you asked

2006-09-29T18:19:00.000-07:00

I realized something
that my search for you
isn't so much a search for love
or a search for completion
it's a search for normalicy
comfort and protection
three things that have never been in my life
and I suppose I traced them to a man
because there's never really been one of those either
I have made a new resolve
and you are part of it
I will no longer look for protection
I have it in Christ
I will no longer search for normalicy
for it does not exist
and when I need comfort I will turn to the Father
the one I've never known
but has been there all along
and I trust that you will help me with this
however simple it may seem
I know not how to do it

Desire of my heart

2006-09-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

God gives us the desires of our heart if we follow Him
but what if we don't know what they are
does He(because HE knows everything)
already know
or does He pick whats best
or do we miss out until we decide
I think I know sometimes
then out of nowhere
something gets in the way of my goal
my goal is to please HIM
and in the process gain that one
that one who said he wasn't mine to gain
sometimes I think I give up
and another takes his place
for a moment
then they fade away
and I am looking back at him
the reflection of my heart
the one true love since I was a girl
yet will I ever decide
will God bend his heart to mine
we can only wait and see
if I know the desire of my heart

Best Friend

2006-09-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

you know people think we're sisters
but it's more than that
you're an extension of my bieng
you know my thoughts
when you're gone
a part of me gos with you
and a part of you is with me also
that part that though unseen
makes up so much of us
it is what first drew us to eachother
it was how God fitted us together
before we began
how amazing to find another peice of you
so early in life
how comforting to know
that you're only a hug away

surface

2006-09-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

these words were never meant to change your life
you dug too far beneath the surface
maybe I pulled you under
but either way
they were just a reflection of one feeling
one that will fade in time
do not worry
hush
there's no need to answer
don't move
there's no need to react
I only wanted you to know that you were cared for
loved is much to strong a word to some
and I see you fall into this category
but on the surface love breathes colour into
any friendship
there's no need to analize
no need to answer
no need to complicate this with details
just sit there and listen
soak up the fact that someone loves you
and you can't control it
eventually it will go into the back room of my heart
as it has time and time again
with the others that I never forgot
and it will give me added boosts of joy
throughout my life as I remember fondly
what I felt
how intense it was at the time
and I will laugh as I am right now
at your reaction
the need you felt to do something about it
to say some profound thing
to tell me my feelings are misplaced
and I would be better off loving someone else
but don't
don't do anything
don't change
don't stop and certainly
don't apologize for leading me on
I fell for what was beneath the surface
not your action or intentions
you're safe from me
I won't do anything more than I have already done
God's love is enough for me
I am used to loving without recieving
it has become part of my life
as much as walking or talking has yours
I imagine I will do it for a long time to come
God has blessed me with a big heart
and I only wanted to share with you
sorry for dragging you beneath the surface
into the deep stuff

Do you forgive me?

2006-09-28T08:53:00.000-07:00

I seemed to have created
a fanasty land
where you and I are intertwined
can you forgive me?
I have put you in the
place where I go to be alone
and hide from the pain
can you forgive me?
I love you so much
that I could not, would not
tell myself no
can you forgive me?
the fantasy fades
the bubble pops
the pain returns
yet with you staring back at me
with that look I still wonder
can you forgive me?

What do you say?

2006-09-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

Everything that I am about to tell you
depends are your answer to the
following question:
Who does the chasing?

should a girl silently sit by
and wait for a man
who might never see the obvious
should she guard herself against
affections from elsewhere
all the while secretly hoping
that he'll come around
maybe this time he'll ask

Or

should she stop playing coy
stop beating around the bush
just come out and say it and
change everything about the two of them forever

answer me this
does her heart break if
she in fact is the answer to
who does the chasing?

My Explaination

2006-09-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

I wasnt planning on writing so much in one day but different writers do different things. I am what is known as a binge writer. I hit on a topic that suits me and I write about it from all angles until both it and I are completely exhausted. You can see the different topics as I add more and more. Usually they are spurted by an emotion , a person, or an event.

In today's case it was all three and none at all. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

words

2006-09-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

every letter on this page
weaves together a portrait
a neverending story of one hearts desire
to be heard
to be held and to be
loved
words are not enough in it of themselves
but when words are accompanied
by the song each heart sings
to one another or
to the God who created them
the words transform into something bigger
something more beautiful than a man made creation
of ink and paper
thought and scribbles
but work together
like magically woven masterpeice
strung together between the clouds by the angels
filling the nothingness
in a way that surpass all understanding
these very words contain a hidden power that once unleashed
can never be taken back
I am bound to these words
just as other peoples words bind them one to another
in life
liberty
and love
those words are the foundation of life
they are the death sentence
they are the gate through which friends enter
and lovers leave
through which we influence everyone and thing aroud us
even the animals respond to our words and head them
but who am I to say
after all these are just
words
right?

Remote Control

2006-09-27T18:21:00.000-07:00

If waiting were a choice
I would fast forward the awkward phase
as well as all those words
that when said you know will change everything
and skip the not talking stage
right to the happily everafter
but I would pause and rewind every now and then
to the days when the stuff I think is dumb
was endearing
like that stupid brown shirt
and that ugly yellow hair
not to mention the man powered car.
now where are the batteries?

never

2006-09-27T15:29:00.000-07:00

never
I hate the word
It's like shutting off someone at the peak of their existence
only to realize they never had a chance to be
could you imagine
taking someone's breath away
and NEVER giving it back
or
hold someone so tight
and NEVER letting go
it's so final
nothing should ever be that final
even death isn't the end
there is life after death
new life
I dare you NEVER to say NEVER
again

Monday

2006-09-27T14:56:00.000-07:00

The passion unspent
welled up within my heart
is about ready to burst out
I hope I don't do anything stupid
and if I do I hope you are there to catch me
this is a new thing
me thinking of you instead of myself
I put my hand in my pocket today
and I pulled out a piece of me
a piece I thought no longer existed
but I was wrong
it did exist
it just took a journey without me
it found you before I did and now
I have only just caught up
my hands they sweat and my skin it tingles
as I decide what to say, am I too late?
I do not know but what is equally as uncertain is
am I too early?
do I wait on you or trust my own ambitions to be correct
you make me feel like a little girl in love
when I walked home the other day with you in mind
I floated all the way
my mind drifts to you and the pain
the intoxicating pain put there by years of hurt
and years of bad desicions
the pain that once took up every part of me is gone
and all I can see is your light.

For you

2006-09-27T14:35:00.000-07:00

Despite what at first glance seems like a love poem....it is anything but. Look deeper as you read...do you see the word love????This is about how things surprise you and only when looking back do you see the way things truly are.

the memories they trickle down
like a tear upon my cheek
a whisper of what it was
I thougt you meant to me
as I sit here now and think of only you
I wonder what it was that first drew me
that very first spark
that stupid brown shirt you always wear
the microphone that sometimes cought your voice
the light as it bounced from
your smile to my eyes
and yet it was unseen
untill today I did not know
I didn't even think to ask until this very second
do you miss me?
that day is the clearest in my mind
as I fumbled with my guitar
and you conviced me
to try harder
and try harder I did and everything felt right
when I was beside you
and we were singing but were we
I feel even now as if I was just watching
watching my heart do things without me
and informing me later of it escipades
you being the greatest
yet I didn't notice
I didn't see until now all that my heart held
and still holds in your wake
I can see your eyes so full of light
dancing with laughter and mischief
as you came up with oh so many
new ways to make me laugh at my self
and how surprised you were when I did
it's funny how you still do that
and I still willingly bend in tune
like this is some weird dance never to be completed
but what you didn't know and I didn't see
was your light swallowing me
into the depths of the place
stuck somewhere between what was and what is
and there is no what might be because
it would ruin the time we have to dwell on that
to dwell where we ought not go
where all I see is your face and
it looking as me without the light
with hurt and uneasiness
and every time I get a chance
I wonder even though I shouldn't
do you miss me?

before

2006-09-27T14:12:00.000-07:00

Is this confusion something new
its cause seems to trace right back to you
to the hope and dreams and fears long past
to something that might forever last
long before you it begun
before on you my heart was hung
before the time of circumstance
before my soul began to dance
before your voice it made me shiver
before your words they made me quiver
before I longed for your gaze
before this passion beagan to blaze
is this confusion something new
because it seems to trace right back to you

just love

2006-09-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

sometimes I think that all this is for nothing
then I remember who sent me here
what they did to get me here
and I forget about being selfish
and just love.

Uncertainty

2006-09-27T12:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been so sure
of one thing until someone comes along
and changes you view of the inmoprtant things
in life and suddenly
your gaze shifts
to
them
they are the one thing you have been
searching for all along and
you never knew it
yet all this time you have been planning
for something bigger
could it be with
them
then you stop and pause and think
what if I'm wrong
is it just a passing feeling
or is this one here to stay
will I infact change everything
based on this one face
this one look
based on
them
or will I go on
do what is expected of me and finish the race
the one I started not knowing where it would end
or who I would have to be
should I be her and change
or me who I have always been with
them?

Where

2006-09-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go
Beneath the sand
beneath the snow
I think that is flows from
the same place my love for you does
a never ending ever changing
unpredictable spring welled up within the
deepest core
A core that two people alone have the key to
and I am neither of the two
you are one and HE is the other
there is no one else in this dance of time
in this flight of fleeting glances
stale romances are all but a whisper
this time I want more
this time I need more
more love
more you
more time.